February 22, 2019

The Year to Face My Fear

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has fears.

My fears come in an assortment of ranges—from major to minor—and usually involve safety. Fire. Heights. Losing limbs. Yes, you read that right. I'm not keen on pain or any kind of surgery. And I am especially partial to my eyes.

When I was fourteen years old, I finally convinced my parents that I was old enough to get contact lenses. Unfortunately, I couldn't leave the vision centre with my new contacts until I could put them in and take them out. On day one, I learned to put them in. Then, I had to return on day two to master how to take them out. I was determined to succeed. And, even though it took me two days, I got my contacts.

About fifteen years ago, my husband came home with a brochure for laser eye surgery. It was a promotion of some sort (I forget the details now), but basically it was an advertisement for laser eye surgery. He tried to sell me on the cost savings. No glasses or contacts. No contact solution. Etc. All I could think about was a laser cutting into my eyeball and possibly blinding me. "No way. No how."

My sister had the procedure done a few years ago. She said it was painful. She's one of the toughest people I've ever met. Remember my aversion to pain? <<head shaking>>

Laser eye surgery has been around for almost twenty-five years. Millions of people have had it. It's perfectly safe. Why am I afraid?

Being awake.
(did I mention) Pain.

Since my husband first suggested laser eye surgery, I've had two children. After childbirth, especially natural, pain medication-free childbirth, 'pain' gets redefined. Is it better or worse than labour? Seriously. Birthing two children naturally is one of my greatest accomplishments. I'm proud of myself. I yelled, "No meds!" whenever the hospital staff asked. Me. I can't even stand to get a paper cut. Which actually does hurt. And don't get me started on breaking a nail...

So, last week I decided I would look into getting laser eye surgery, and I booked an eye exam. Today, I scheduled a surgical consult. Will I do it? If I'm an eligible candidate... the answer is a resounding yes. Because I'm tired of letting fear dictate my actions.

Twenty-five years ago, my fourteen year-old self was determined to get contact lenses. Today, I am determined to get laser eye surgery.

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