January 5, 2019

Just a Dream?

My entire life I've had very vivid dreams. The main theme consisted of being chased with people trying to kill me. Last year, I had two sleep studies to see if my vivid dreaming was a medical condition impairing the quality of my sleep. I even took pills to suppress my dreams. The pills didn't work, and I found out I have mild sleep apnea.

My dreams—disturbing as they may sometimes be—have been a source of inspiration for me. My first novella Dream Hunter was literally a dream come true.

I've been fascinated with dreams for a long time. What do they mean? What do they say about the dreamer? What is the greater significance?

Last night, I dreamt an elementary school-aged boy kicked me in the back of my head. I felt my whole body shake like the rumble mode of a game console controller. I turned around, and he attempted to kick me in the face. I jumped back, realizing that the first kick had been intentional. I reported the boy to his teacher, and hand wrote an account of what had happened on an unlined piece of white paper. Fast forward to hiking up a rocky hill with a bunch of people I didn't recognize. One of those people gave me a scrap a paper with the school principal's contact info. The paper had other names on it as well. I understood that the teacher hadn't dealt with the boy, and I emailed the principal. Fast forward to me having a shower in an unfamiliar house.

My husband has also taken an interest in my dreams, offering insight and analysis. I haven't told him this one yet because I'm pretty sure what he'll think. The boy's attack represents the co-worker who assaulted me. The teacher who didn't discipline the boy represents my inept manager. The principal represents the authorities who I turned to for help. Having a shower? I see that as symbolic of absolution and a fresh start. What happened to me affected my life (negatively) and the lives of my family. I sometimes wonder if I would have done things differently. I know I wouldn't have, but I still feel the occasional pangs of guilt about the emotional and financial impact of my decisions. Yet my path is facing this fight head-on because it's the right thing to do. This is a new year full of possibility... and possibly even resolution.

I wonder if my theory will agree with my husband's?

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