Life is too busy. People are always connected... people are always on... except us... my husband and I don't have a smartphone (yet) although he bought me an iPad for Christmas. If you're always tuned in, when is there time to decompress? Relax? In between time devoted to spouses, kids, work, housework, errands, sleep? I love my family. I acknowledge the necessity of work and sleep. But where can I find some 'me' time?
I crave balance. I wish I could relax more, but I am a complete type A personality. I play when the work is done. And the work, it seems, is never done. My list grows longer, my day grows shorter. And it's time for bed and almost time to do it all over again. And everyday I tell myself that this will be the day I have time to do something special for my husband and/or my boys; I'll be the best ever. :) By day's end, I'm exhausted. What is left to give?
All day long we manage. The morning routine is lovingly dubbed "the getting ready olympics" and then it's off to my paid job for 7.5 hours. When the digital clock strikes 4:30 pm, I pack away my papers, shut down my computer, and head for home. For 10-15 minutes (depending on how fast I walk), there is quiet; I can breathe. No crazy work people, no hyper kids, no housework. I love my commute. It's the best one I've ever had (lol... haven't worked from home yet) and my walk home is the most peaceful time of my day. When the kids go to bed is a close second. Don't get me wrong... I love my boys... But most parents understand that bed time for kids = happy time for parents. Kids drain all your energy and come back for more. But I love them. Even at 6 am... a full 15 minutes before my alarm interrupts my vivid, movie-like dreams. Yes, even then.
If only I could write and walk at the same time. Although I sometimes use my commute walk home to review my latest WIP and plot. It's a good time to think.
Balance. Putting the stressors of the day behind and seeking enough of a recharge to get through the "going to bed olympics" which starts with dinner, baths, stories, and a bedtime glass of water. Sigh. I'll miss the boys when they grow up. My baby turned 4 today. I brought out his baby book and showed him. He's not a baby anymore. Next year he goes to kindergarten.
I do love my family, but I wonder what I did with my time before I had kids. Busy boys, never ending cascade of work... <shrug> No life is perfect. Maybe there's no such thing as balance? Or, maybe, this is balance. One hug from my little guys and everything is right in my world. And I'm ready to do it all again tomorrow. Good night.